Feb. 21 - 27, 1994

About this blog

Feb, 21, [1994] 10:10 pm
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I found out that, yes, there are people who have heard words spoken to them from the spirit. Anybody can receive revelation. It’s up to God how you receive it. A patriarch hears words from the spirit. Prophets hear them too. I’m sure lots of people hear words from the spirit.

Feb. 22, [1994] 9:53pm
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In seminary we listened to a talk from some Bro. Christensen guy. It was a very uplifting talk. I learned from it that everyone can be convinced that this is the true church of God, even the ones that give you the hardest persecution.
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Today I also saw the film “Legacy” for the first time. It was a very powerful movie & it got to me. It gives me greater appreciation for the earlier members of the church and I’m thankful for the sacrifice they gave for me.

Feb. 24, [1994] 10:30pm
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We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight. They seem nice.
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Feb. 24?, [1994] 9:57pm
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Tim took me home today, but first he went to Comics Utah to do something. I feel weird there. It seems like the spirit leaves me when I go in there. I don’t know why.
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Feb. 25, [1994] 10:23pm
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I went to the library after we got let out of school at 12:15. A real nasty book was out. It was the journal of Jack the Ripper and it had photos of his victims. They were very disgusting. I asked myself, “Why would anyone do such a thing?” And I told myself that if I kept asking why, the devil would tell me & I’d enter into his mentality.
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Feb. 26, [1994] 10:30pm
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Earlier this morning I awoke at about 5:30am. I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I laid there, “idol” if you will. Temptation got the better of me & I don’t have to tell you the rest.

Over my life (and right now especially) I don’t fell like I’ve properly repented of my sins. “Masturbation is serious enough to call for sincere repentance,” said Spencer W. Kimball. I don’t feel like I’ve repented in “sackcloth and ashes.”…..I want too.
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Feb. 27, [1994] Sunday 9:47pm

“Repentance means not only to convict yourselves of the horror of the sin, but to confess it, abandon it, and restore to all those who have been damaged to the total extent possible; then spend the balance of you lives trying to live the commandments of the Lord so he can eventually pardon you and cleanse you.”
– Spencer W. Kimball

I want to repent so bad.

I remember when I was younger. I lived with many sexual sins and I had no desire to repent of them. One Sunday I was walking in the chapel and the bishop came up to me and said one word, “Repent.”

I thought, “Repent? Repent of what?” I really didn’t know why the encounter had taken place until recently. I knew that he didn’t know of the sins I was committing, unless it was revealed to him. Oh how better off I would have been if I followed his council! He was trying to tell me, “Repent, because you don’t know what you’re getting into.”

I’m going to start to fast by myself so that I may know more about my standing before the Lord.
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I kept the Sabbath holy today.