Jan 24 - Feb 20, 1994

About this blog

[14 years old]

Jan 24, [1994]

Last night, while I was praying, I asked my Father in Heaven to let me recognize what the spirit feels like. While I was asking, I felt overcome & I started to cry. Not much, but I did cry. I know now that I have a testimony of these things.
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Jan 30, [1994] Sunday
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Brother Teddingson went up & bore his testimony today. He spoke of how important it is to home teach. This great man sat up there crying & said how important it is not to weasel out of responsibilities, & I don’t think my dad even cared one bit.

Went to a fireside tonight. The Bishop spoke on how important it is to be moral & chaste. These are some tid-bits I got from it:
The spirit & body joined together are the soul. Just as someone harms the body it harms the soul. If someone harmed the spirit, as in – not being chaste, it destroys the soul. That’s why the Lord ranks immorality up with murder. They both destroy the soul. Also, the Lord paid for us; my soul is his, my body & spirit are his. The Lord wishes us to treat our bodies as if they are his, which they are, with holiness and respect.
He (the bishop) showed us a video about morality. They used the rapids of a river to explain the rules of morality. Don’t get close to the rapids, they will sweep you away. Stay around friends that share the same beliefs as you.
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Jan 31, [1994]
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PS
Dad said prayer at dinner.

Feb. 2, [1994]

I thought that seminary was fun & interesting today. At the beginning of class we were starting to memorize a scripture – D&C 130:1-4. While in the middle of it someone asked a question about it, then another & then it seemed that the whole classroom bombarded the teacher with questions that have been welled up in them for most of their lives with hope that a seminary teacher could answer all of them. We spent the whole class period talking about things such as patriartical blessings, why was there polygamy, why is there always many women married to one man & not many men married to one woman, homosexuals, is there a God above God, etc…

I didn’t say much. I sat back & relaxed & listened to everybody else talk. It was illuminating & fun.
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Feb 6, [1994]
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It is my prayer that me & my father will be able to go home teaching this week, and maybe we’ll have family home evening!!! I don’t remember ever that I had family home evening with my dad.

I found out that I wasn’t born in the covenant, but that I was sealed to my parents when I was very little. My little sister and brother were, but I wasn’t.
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Feb 7, [1994]
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I went off about my dad today to the seminary teachers while I was eating lunch with them. One of them said some things very friendly-like to me that might help the situation.

Dad, if you’re reading my journal, please know that I love you.

Feb 12, [1994]

There was a Valentines dance at the Stake Center tonight. I didn’t go.
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Feb 14, [1994] Valentines Day

No big Valentines, at all.
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It was getting pretty dangerous with my thoughts today.

Feb 16, [1994]
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I took a bath tonight. It was hard to overcome temptation. It seemed to be that I was going to give way, but I didn’t.

Feb 18, [1994]

Something happened today. All the torment of temptation was lifted from me, and the hard thing to comprehend is – I gave way, sorta. I don’t feel sorrow for what I did. I was expecting sorrow, but I feel peace.

Feb 20, [1994] Sunday

Revelation – There are many purposes for it, to uplift, to confirm, to constrain, to comfort, to reveal, & other things. I think this is what I experienced yesterday. I was comforted to know that I was trying my hardest to live the gospel.
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I do know someday that I will be called upon to administer to the affairs of the church & receive revelation. It tells me in my patriartical blessing.